FUNNY JOKES AND SMS

Grave
Man on his wife graveNow at last she is in peace n so am I

Love blind
Love is blind but marriage is areal eye opener

Doctor
A person who treats u with his pills n kills u with his bills
Care
If u think no body cares for u
Try missing a couple of payments

Advice
One should never advice
Wise do not need it
N fool would not take it

Look
A Man is as old as he is feeling
A woman is as old as she is looking
Pessimist
Borrow money from a pessimist they donot expect it back
Wife
Love is life
Life is wife
Wife is a knife
That cuts the life

Marriage
An institute in which man loses his bachelor degree
N woman gets her master.
Apologize
Never apologize
Right kind of poeple donot need u to say u r sorry
N wrong kind of people would take advantage of it
Marriage Advice
Whenever u r wrong admit
Whenever u r right shut up
Laziness
Hardworking has a future return
Lazinss Pays off Now
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Benefits of Kissing
Changes taste
Burns Calories
Lips never go dry
Relieves Stress
Makes face muscles strong
So KEEP KISSING with guys also if u cant find girls
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When you were born, you were crying and everyone round you were smiling...
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Live your life ,so that when you die,you are the one who is smiling and everyone round you is crying.........
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Sweet is your Nature...
Dear is your Name....
As earth needs water ,Flower needs Dew...
I want nothing but happiness for You....
What is the difference between Love and Arranged Marriage?
The first one is perfect Suicide...
And the next one is an arranged Murder......
Some people cannot understand,
A friend you have ever met...
But then I guess they have never had
A friendship on the Net........
My heart is like an open book,
It depends on u how u read me,
Don't judge me by my cover...
Look in and discover ....
I will be ur true friend forever............
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I've made so many mistakes in my life,but something I did right was to have you as a friend and I definitely won't make another mistake of losing someone like you.
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For Last Year's words belong to Last Year's Language..
And Next Year's Words await another voice..
And to make an end is to make a begining.
HAP[PY NEW YEAR !!!!!!!
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God bless you and keep you safe not only today but through out life that is coming in your way.May Year to follow be among the Best u have ever spent....
HAPPY NEW YEAR............
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Beauty...
Freshness..
Dreams...
Truth...
Imagination...
Feelings..
Faith...
Trust...
This is begining of New Year.........
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A smile is a way of writing your thoughts on your face,telling others that day are Accepted,Liked and Appreciated.So here's a big Smile just for you......Gud AM.. I woke up today smiling as I recall our friendship because I know that years from now, I will be still waking up smiling for the same reason.GOOD MORNING!!!!!!!
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hello bro
you are far away,
but,i can feel you,
becose, i miss you,
i miss your kisses and all that we shared.
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Close your eyes....
Relax your body...
And stop your breathing as long as you can...
Now breathe.......
I miss you as much as you missed the air.......
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If you want to know how much I miss you, try to catch rain drops.The ones you catch is how much you miss me and the ones you miss is how much I MISS U...... What makes some peple dearer is not just the happiness that you feel when you meet them but the pain you feel when you miss them. MISS YOU..............
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I am sending you 3 little hearts to remind you 3 things:
I am HERE, I do CARE and I MISS YOU !!!!!!!!!!
I am sending you 3 little hearts to remind you 3 things:
I am HERE, I do CARE and I MISS YOU !!!!!!!!!!
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If luving was against the law,and kissing was against the crime,I would gladly spend my life with you in prison. When time comes for you to give your heart to someone,make sure you will select someone who never breaks your heart,because broken hearts has never spare parts. Life ends when you stop dreaming, Hope ends when you stop believing and LOVE ends when you stop caring.So, drem, hope and love.........Makes life beautiful.
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Sardar was writing something very slowly. Friend asked,"Why are you writing so slowly?"
Sardar: "I am writing this to my 6 yrs. old son.he can't read very fast."
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Why do couples hold their hands during their wedding day???
It's just a formality, like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins......
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Why don't men often show their true feelings?
-Because they don't have any.
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How amazing !!!-A mother makes a son "INTELIGENT" in 20 years ,but a girl makes him "STUPID" in 2 mins....
Boys go to college to develop their mind ,and girls go to college to catch them before this happens. Arguing with a girl is like wrestling with a pig in mud.After some time, you realize that u are getting dirty,but the pig is actually enjoying. a prayer that can change your life! Whenever I want your presence I read your SMS....Whenever I want to see you I close my eyes......Whenever I want to hear your voice I throw stone at dog.
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I had VODKA with WATER
I felt DRUNK
i had RUM with WATER
I felt drunk
I SWEAR I WILL NEVER DRINK WATER.........!!!
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KISS is not like Nokia---- connecting people
KISS is not like Nike------- Just do it
KISS is not like Pepsi---------ye dil mange more
But KISS is like pan parag--------Ek se mera kya hoga.
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Interviewer: Why did u leave ur first company?
Sardar: Actually sir,my company has sifted to next place and they didn't inform me where it has been sifted.
Roses of red grow in my heart and they will never wither... 'Cause they bloom every time I see your smile, hear your voice or just think of you!
Sun shines in the day...Moon shines in the night...!
But you shine in my heart every day and night...!! Friendly word is I.
Sweetest word is LOVE.
Cutest person is U.
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mudre one day at kathmandu bus park with driver
will this bus take me to tarai
driver: which part
mundre: off course my whole body
tu nahe hai toh dil mera udaas hai; suni zindagi ki tu he ek aas hai; sansonse aa rahe teri he khushboo tu door nigahonse par dil ke paas hai. if i cud pull down the RAINBOW; i wud write ur name wid it n put it bak in d sky 2let every1 knw how COLOURFUL my LIFE is wid a friend like U.HAPPY FRIENDSHIP DAY
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Happiness keeps you sweet,Trials make you strong,Sorrows makes you human,Failure makes you humble,Success keeps you glowing, and God keeps ypu going.
GOD BESS YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Faith makes everything possible,Hope makes everything work,Love makes everything beautiful.May you have all this three as you begin each day.
GOOD MORNING !!!!!!!!!!!
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When you feel sad........
To cheer up just go to the mirror and say,
"damn I am really so cute", you will overcome your sadness.
But don't make this a habit...
Coz liers always go to hell !!!!!!!!!!!
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It's raining now.......
Would you look out the window and
Try to count the no. of raindrops,
You see falling from the sky above,
And that's how much I am missing you now.
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You must be a good runner,
Because you are always running in my mind,
You must be a good thief ,
Because you have stolen my heart,
And I am always a bad shooter,
Because I always MISS U !!!!!!!!
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Birth is like a DOT,
Life is like a LINE,
Love is lke a TRIANGLE,
But Friendship is like a CIRCLE,
Becoz, CIRCLE don't have an END !!!
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A friend gives hope when life is low.
A friend is a place where you can go.
A friend is honest- A friend is true.
A friend is precious-A friend is YOU!!!!!!!!!
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Friendship is like a glass, handle it with care.
Because once broken cannot be mended, and even if mended...........
A crack is always there !!!!!!!
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Sardar opens the lunch box in the middle of the road........WHY???
Just to confirm wheather he is going to coming from the office.
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Doctor and Sardar love the same girl.
Sardar gives her apple everyday.
Girl asked reason of giving apple daily.
Sardar: An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
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What makes some people dearer is not just the happiness that we feel when we meet them but the emptiness we feel when they are not around us.
I MISS YOU !!!!!!
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I always knew that looking back on my tears would someday make me laugh, but I never knew that looking back on my laughter would someday make me cry.
MISS YOU !!!
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Some works are left undone, some words are left unsaid, some feelings are left unexpressed, like that some friends left unmissed.!!!
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Those who can't have you, HATE U,
Those who have you can't HANDLE U,
Those who abuse you, LOSE U,
and there are those like me who can't, REFUSE U.!!!
Dreaming of you makes my night WORTHWHILE,.
Thinking of you makes me SMILE.
Having you is the best thing EVER,
Loving you is what I plan FOR EVER.!!!
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I am a cop and you are under arrest on account of being you.
It is illegal o be as lovable as you are.Now you get a life sentence in my heart.
If I could be any part of you,I'd be your tear.
To be conceived in your heart, born in your eyes,live on your cheeks and die on your lips.
May your heart be happy and your days be bright,
May your roads be smooth and your burdens light,
May you find dreams and touch a star and never forget How Special You Are.!!!
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God picked up a flower and dipped it into a DEW,lovingly touched it which turned in to U,and that he gifted it to me and said, "THIS FRIEND IS FOR YOU."
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When a person can find sorrows behind your smile,
Words behind your silence,
Love behind your anger,
U can believe that person is Special In Your Life.!!
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May the little flowers lying in a gloom, Rise and bloom.Swaying endlessly,this way and that's way,Mom too dusk everyday.GET WELL SOON.!!!
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Luck is not in your hands,but work is.Your work can make your luck,but luck can't do your work.
GOOD LUCK !!!
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I miss the laughs I used to get from you, I miss the talks we used to have.And above all I just Miss U.!!! Every sunset gives us one day less to live!!But every sunrise give us,one day more to hope! so , hope for the best.Good day and Good luck!!!
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Smile in pleasure, smile in pain,Smile when trouble pours like rain;
Smile when someone hurts you, Smile becoz someone cares for you;
Keep Smiling !!!
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Always have the determination of mirror, which never loses its ability to reflect inspite of it being broken into pieces.
He, who loses, money loses much;
He, who loses a friend,loses much more;
He, who loses faith ,loses all.
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True friends are like diamonds....they are real and rare.False friends are like leaves...they are scattered everywhere.
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